Bear’s Corner


The Great Taco Adventure


Since becoming brothers with Bean, the Chihuahua, I’ve acquired quite the taste for Mexican food.  So you can imagine my delight when I overheard my human family talking about driving to a new place called, “Taco City”.  All week I heard, “I can’t wait to go to Taco City! I hear it’s amazing, humongous, and one of the most visited places in the country!” And best of all it’s within a mere hours drive. So we woke up early on Saturday morning, packed a small picnic lunch and were off to chase down this giant taco of the West.  Bean and I saddled up in the back of the Excursion, licked our chops and prepared to indulge in some scrumptious Mexican cuisine. If this place lives up to its name, we are sure in for a treat!

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We began our trek up a giant mountain and as I had my muzzle pressed against the cold glass I saw the strangest site I had ever seen. The ground was covered in a white fluffy stuff that made my kiddie siblings erupt into a frenzy and cheer with glee. Papa human quickly pulled over and the whole gang piled out like a pack of greyhound racers out of the starting gate. They threw themselves into the white substance, started rolling around and even picked up handfuls and threw it at each other.

When they opened the trunk I leapt fearlessly into the mysterious white abyss, the likes this Florida dog had never seen.  My humans were acting like lunatics as they continued to frolic and leap up and down the mountainside. It was obvious the kids had never experienced something like this before. It felt cold on my nose and paws and wet on my belly. I tried eating it but it didn’t really have a taste. It was fun  to see it turn a bright yellow when I tried to mark my territory. After a few moments of unbridled joy, we retreated back to the truck cold, wet and exhausted. Mama human asked the kids if they enjoyed their first encounter with something called “snow” and they all exclaimed in unison, “Yes, that was awesome!” My paws and nose were ice cubes and my drool streams hung down like icicles.  I looked at Bean wearing an impish grin all warm and cozy in his blanky. Maybe that old, native New Yorker dog wasn’t as dumb as he looked. Now I could really use some of those spicy Tacos to warm up my chilly tummy.


As we came barreling down the snowy mountain, before our eyes lay the most beautiful crystal clear body of water any of us had ever seen. The family started yelling, “Taco, Taco, Taco, we made it!” I thought to myself, ok I see the lake, but where are the tacos and the sweet Mexican senoritas? I turned to Bean in confusion and he just shrugged his little shoulders in disbelief. And then the mystery was solved. As we pulled into the lake parking lot I saw the giant sign that read, “Welcome to Tahoe City!”  What the heck is a Tahoe?  Don’t tell me we’ve been the victims of misunderstanding again. I feel like I’m living a real life episode of Three’s Company!

The truck came to a stop as the excitement reached fever pitch and finally the Mexican food I had been dreaming about was no longer on  my mind. I now had my sights set on that gorgeous lake, big enough for a Bullmastiff size bathtub and clean enough to gulp down right from the source. We ventured down the rocky hillside and onto the cool sand. The shoreline was speckled with smooth, pretty stones in assorted earthy colors. The air smelled like freedom, the water looked like a mirage, and the mountain backdrop was like something from a dream. I pulled like a sled dog reaching for the  finish line at the Iditarod.



As soon as Papa human unhooked my leash I dashed for the shoreline to experience this amazing place, first paw.  I dove my muzzle into the cool sand, chased the kiddies, chewed on sticks of all sizes, guzzled down water by the gallon with my huge mastiff tongue, and best of all… dug giant holes until I couldn’t feel my paws anymore. Finally a place to dig without being scolded. Oh yes, this was getting good!

After a few hours of pure playtime bliss, I felt a familiar rumble in my tummy and suddenly wanted to find some grub. There were picnic lunches on every blanket and with a little Yogi Bear ingenuity, I knew I could have my teeth on some yummy food in no time. As I stealthily approached the nearest blanket to case out the scene, I was surprised by the generosity of the nearby humans. They  just started throwing food to me with no bother at all. Potato chips, bread, cookies, hot dogs, you name it. It was effortless as I swallowed it down with lightning speed before my humans couId see how much chow I had scored .

But as always, I had to outstep my boundaries as I zeroed in on a blue-haired senior with a mouth watering bucket of KFC all to himself. I attempted to take a nibble of a drumstick as he wasn’t looking, but got stone cold busted and tapped on the nose with a  rolled up magazine. Apparently my cute mushy face doesn’t have the same affect on everyone. Mama human came running over in anger, scolded me abruptly, and leashed me back up. I was so ashamed, but I’m glad I gave it the old obedience school try.


A fantastic day was had by all, and as we packed up our stuff, Mama human asked a friendly beachgoer to snap a family portrait. I still had my eye on Grandpa Chubby’s bucket of  KFC, but I guess it just wasn’t in the cards. I know I could have made off with the entire stash before he could he even waddle to his feet. Nevertheless, I was quickly yanked in the opposite direction to pose for yet another of Mama humans umpteenth photo ops. Man that gal sure is camera happy! As you can see by the hold that Papa human has on me, I wasn’t feeling very photogenic at the moment.

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As we drove away from picturesque Lake Tahoe we all had sandy toes and full bellies. The aroma of our wonderful beach adventure permeated the air.  It may not have been the heavenly Taco City that Bean and I were yearning for, “but once in a while you get shown the light, in the strangest of places, if you look at it right.” I sure am Grateful for my loving family and all the places they bring me. Petco gets kinda old after a while…


Next on the agenda is something I simply cannot wait for. From what I’ve heard, plans are already underway for a New Year’s adventure to somewhere called, “Barkley, California!!!”  I hear that place is crawling with female beauties of every possible breed and pedigree. I can just imagine the head turning when I set my handsome paws on the scene. Keep ya’ll posted.

Bear out! Woof~


The Further Adventures of Bear the Bullmastiff


Howdy ya’ll! Bear here with a quick update on my last few weeks on the road. Feels good to be back behind the keyboard again. After leaving Tucson we spent about 5 enchanting days in the incomparable beauty of Sedona, Arizona. Words cannot even describe the magical beauty of this place. It’s just something you have to experience for yourself and should be on everyone’s bucket list. Man, did I ever enjoy marking my territory on those gorgeous red rocks and evergreen trees. BOL! (bark out loud). The climate was amazing and the sights and smells were even better.

bear and G

Mama human spent a morning alone with me that was life changing for the both of us.  She took me to some place called a vortex which is supposed to be an area of concentrated spiritual energy. This specific one was called the Airport Vortex and was known to be one of masculine energy.  She had no idea how badly I needed this after losing my manhood shortly before we left on our trip. Supposedly, there was no room for “them” in the camper.

Anyway, it was a gorgeous morning as we set out and began our trip up the mountain.  Papa human was watching over the pups at the campground and mama and I were free to venture into unknown lands. As we drove up the steep, curving road I could feel my chest filling with an unbridled strength and energy. About halfway up mama began nervously trembling and spewing profanities the likes of a long haul trucker. I could hear her foot shaking on the gas pedal of the truck as she gripped the wheel tightly. I looked out the window and witnessed the thousand foot drop off the side and was gripped with fear as well. Thank God we reached the apex safe and sound. The view from above was simply awe-inspiring. I felt like letting out an enthusiastic howl for the whole world to hear.   My poor human however, was sweating and shaking like a Chihuahua by the time we got out of the car.  I knew it was up to me to calm her down.  I nuzzled up to her to let her know I was there to protect her and that she was ok.  She took me for a picturesque walk and I could feel her energy changing as the minutes passed. She was herself again and ready to hoop it up at the top of the mountain.

Hooping is not for me. I’ve been wacked in the muzzle by a mishandled hula hoop more than I care to remember. And I don’t jump through hoops for anyone either. I  don’t roll like that!  I’m not an agile kind of canine.  My way to enjoy hooping is to relax in a shady spot a safe distance away with a cool bowl of water, listening to my human’s groovy tunes and keeping a watchful eye. And that’s just what we did that morning.


Later that day we went to a park with the whole family.  It was delightful, just like everywhere we went in Sedona.  I was free to run and play in a big open grassy area of the park.  And then, just like a scene from a movie I saw her… She was a smoking hot dame, I mean Dane. Sophia the Great Dane and I frolicked, rolled and ran the open field for hours.  My mojo was back and my A game was in full swing! This bitch was diggin’ me in a major way! I attributed my irresistible Mastiff magnetism to the energy I absorbed at the vortex.  I could have stayed there forever with Sophia, but sadly the sun was setting and my family had to leave. We sniffed each other’s butts one more time and said goodbye. Guess I’ll never know what could have been.


After that we high tailed it the rest of the way to Nevada.  We hit a few more sweet places on the route to Reno. Lake Walter being the sweetest! Then we dry camped in a Walmart parking lot outside of Las Vegas, which meant there’d be no water or electricity. All the lights and commotion kinda put me on high alert that night, but it was all good when the sun came up.  There were however lots of strange looking dudes asking my humans for money as we were getting ready to leave. Papa gave them some food and even walked over and bought someone a container of gas for their broken down car. Man, I love that guy and his big heart!  Mama says she can’t tell if he’s a sucker or a saint sometimes (but it’s surely evident that she loves him either way.) Me too.



We are currently in Reno, Nevada and I have to say that this is a very dog friendly city.  I have been welcomed in so many places here.  I even got to stay at a big fancy casino one night and had a guest leash and special places for me to do my business.  That was quite a treat!  I felt like Bo Obama with all the attention I received as I swaggered my big ole self across the casino floor.  I wasn’t crazy about the elevators, though. I almost lost my kibble on the way up to the 10th floor. But Bean and I enjoyed an incredible night in a room with 2 king sized beds and lots of warm cuddly kids to sleep with. Getting a taste of high society life sure was awesome, but deep down I’m just a simple dog with simple needs. I’ll take the travel trailer with my loving humans any day.

I made a really good friend here as well. He’s a golden retriever named Bailey who lives across from the dog walk area.  We romp around twice a day together and he’s become a nice pal that I look forward to seeing. I could deal without his incessant mounting, but we all have our faults.

Bear at San Rafael

And this week my humans found me the finest dog park I have ever laid paws on.  We are talking acres and acres of grassy field with 360 degrees of mountain views… all fenced for safety of course.  It felt like the floor of Westminster with every breed imaginable rolling, prancing, sniffing, fetching… you name it. We are planning on heading back there again tomorrow because Papa said I’m being such a “good boy”. So I finally got the answer to the question I keep hearing everywhere I go, “Whose a good boy?” Guess it’s me after all 🙂 It sure is a dog’s life!

So until next time, my friends. Bear out. Smell ya later…




Bear the King of Kings

Bear with family at Caverns

Bear here. It’s been a doggone rollercoaster of a week. From King of the Burger, to King of the Kennel, I’ve had my ups and downs.  At my last post we were headed to TX. That didn’t turn out as the humans planned.

They had a monumental bug situation. Being a dog I’ve had my fair share of creepy crawlies on my hide, but this was much more severe. These buggers were everywhere, in my ears, up my nose and even trying to claim ownership of my feed bag. That’s where I draw the line. They can have the Ritz crackers and Fruit Loops, but don’t lay one antennae on my gosh darn Pro Plan! They brought me to stay at their friend’s house for the day while they tackled the problem. It was a good time, but It was a tad disappointing to not see the giant Texas steaks and beautiful canine bitches I heard so much about.

While back on the road headed to New Mexico, I heard some talk about burgers…FINALLY! My salivary glands went into overdrive as we pulled into a place they called “Burger King”.  I liked the sound of it. But, oh no, as we approached the entrance I saw the fateful sign of doom I’ve seen many times before… NO PETS 🙁  Bean and I were tied outside in the shade with a towel to lay on and given a cold bowl of water. It was nice to be out of the truck but not as nice as a  juicy Angus burger would’ve been. When the humans came out, they donned me with a paper crown, snapped my picture and anointed me as The King of the Burgers. Their affections were plentiful and got my tail wagging again. And little Sadie managed to smuggle a few french fries for me as well. Man, I love that kid.

Bear at Burger King

After much traveling, the leader of the pack was tired of driving and strung out on Red Bull and mama human found us a place to stay. I could smell immediately that it was not top choice accommodations. We arrived in Abeline, TX. in complete darkness and I knew I would be on duty all night. This place was a dump even by dog standards. I slept with one eye open and was happy to leave in the morning and grateful that I didn’t have to get all Cujo on anyone.

We arrived in Carlsbad, NM. and everyone was overjoyed with the idea of staying in one place for a few days.  This campground had 2 dog parks, so I was excited to stay as well.  We took a long walk around the grounds to explore and stretch our legs. I got to sniff a few butts and mark my new territory so I was satisfied. Then they did something they had never done before. They left me unattended in the camper for a couple of hours. Although I was tempted, I proved that I could resist chewing on their shoes and raiding the trashcan. Mama human was so proud that she praised me as though I had just taken Best in Show.

The next morning, when Bean and I finally got to the dog parks, we discovered that they were nothing to bark about.  They had many burrs and spikey thorns that were sticking into our feet.  Poor little Bean had a harder time with it than me. Thankfully the humans pulled them out one by one and didn’t bring us back to that hellish fenced area they call a park.  I wonder if they would put their own kids in a playground filled with fire ants and thorns? On a positive note, they did buy me a new outdoor green grass carpet to lay on. My, oh my, what a pleasure!

Bear's Green Grass

The next day I was ecstatic to find out that they were bringing me with them to Carlsbad Caverns.  An awesome adventure! I was delighted with the thought of seeing real live bats and feeling the cool underground air. It started out amazing and I got to have my first drink out of a natural pond at the bottom of a mountain. It was heavenly and I felt an instinctual connection to my canine roots.  This is what it must be like to be a wolf and have the call of the wild running through your veins. After a fabulous picnic lunch at the exterior of the caverns we walked up to a building with a big brown sign with the letters K-E-N-N-E-L on the door.  They started to bring me inside and suddenly I felt uneasy.  “Wait, wait, this is not the way to the caverns! What about the bats, crystal formations, and all those stalagmites and stalactites?” They weren’t hearing me 🙁

Bear's fresh water

Bear's Kennel Pic

I had to wait in a cage while the rest of my family went to explore the most beautiful caverns in America. It was not my finest two hours. A boorish lady with yellow teeth and coffee breath kept sticking her nose in my grill asking me, “Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy?” Again with that ridiculous question. Lucky for me they didn’t do the guided tour or it would have been longer. Sure, how very considerate of them!


Lazydays! 5 Paws up!
Lazydays! 5 Paws up!

Currently, we are at Lazydays RV resort in Tucson, AZ.  The humans are really making up for leaving me at the kennel because this place is 5 paws up! Can’t beat the leash free dog park here with no ants, thorns, or other hazards. It has shade and grass and big cold bowls of agua. Benches under the trees ensure we get extra playtime while the humans are comfortable. They gave us butt scratches, belly rubs, and Beggin’ Strips. What more could a pooch ask for? Not to mention the female Newfoundland that I frolicked with this morning was simply magnificent. What a looker. Now this is a campground!


The dog days of summer are coming to an end and I am looking forward to the cooler climates and open camper doors.  I love to people watch from the comfort of the couch while viewing my favorite show, Dogs 101. Thank God for Animal Planet. Happy tails my friends 🙂





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Hi, I’m Bear, a one year old Bullmastiff. I am extremely photogenic and I love attention. I live with my crazy family of  two big humans and four little ones.  They are my world and I would defend them with my life. They say I’m very well behaved except for the fact that I cannot control my urge to steal food.  And I have a slight drooling problem as well, but geez… no one is perfect.

Somehow this nutty family thought it would be cool to move out of our house and into a travel trailer to see the country and go on some kind of book tour.  I guess the big guy wrote a book from what I overhear.

I thought it would be fun until I found out that I had to ride in the trunk with the spare tire. All the while, my little Chihuahua brother “Bean” gets a nice fleece blanket on a warm lap. As he is stroked affectionately and spoiled to the bone I am left to salivate all over the back of the seat.  It’s not so bad. Every few hours they let me walk around at a rest stop filled with smells to do my business and take a cold drink. And then each one of them asks me the same question I hear over and over again, “Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy?” Quite a peculiar inquiry and they never even tell me the answer!

Inside the camper, they try to keep me off of the couch but they are giving up already.  As soon as I saw that they put a cover on it, I took that as an invitation. Come to daddy… my new spot! Bear- 1, People- 0. BOL! (bark out loud)

Although it’s only been a few days, I have seen 3 states already, the powdery sand of the Gulf and discovered a new surface that I love to nap on. The surface I speak of is gravel. Our second campsite had this stuff. It was cool, dry and like a massage to my big body as I laid on it all day.

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I’m really looking forward to many new experiences with my family on the open road. I hear someplace called Texas is next with steaks and burgers the size of garbage can lids. Sounds like my kinda place 😉


11 thoughts on “Bear’s Corner

  1. Thanks, Bear! It’s always great to hear about things from another perspective. Have a fun trip…..and keep your thoughts coming!

  2. My name is Gracie Mae and I live in Florida. We have not met but I like older boys and they say bigger is better so you already have 2 points ahead of any other dog I have in my area. I listened with envious ears as my human read me your blog. She laughed as she read it but I had happy tears of envy welling up in my eyes.

    Best of luck in the area you are headed, Texas. It is my understanding the humans there are enamored with anything BIG so prepare yourself for wowing the crowds!

    Much slobbering love, A Fan

  3. What a cool life you have Bear! Your humans are amazing, special people and they act upon what most of us are afraid to do!!! Awesome travels to you and let us know when you reach the Boston area. I will round my peeps up for the book tour visit:)

  4. Hey we have a food loving cocker spaniel that sounds perfect for bean & bear. Wanna add her to your crew..we will even toss in some cash & meet you upon your return to FL to pick her up 😉

    Thanks for the laughs with “Bears Corner.” Love it!

  5. OH Pete…. I can not tell you how I chuckled… tears running down my checks…
    Bear really does deserve better than the area of the spare tire… LOL..
    And you have better get some leather cleaner because after 3 days the extra drowl will turn to concrete…LOL..
    BE SAFE … LOVE YOU ALL and enjoy this whole adventure… one your whole family will remember and cherish… and especially BEAR… Grandma (Reba) would have taken care of him but the best place for BEAR is with his crazy family and He will be working on getting on that fuzzy blanket on someones lap… I can promise you he will try to fit… BE SAFE.. GOD BLESS YOU ALL! KEEP a stiff upper lip BEAR…. they will eventually cave in to your desires… 🙂 Lv Grandma Reba

  6. that is so funny I have a bull mastiff too hes a little over a yr old n he makes us laugh a lot n starts talking too n I also love my sisters bull mastiff dawson hes such a hunk of a boy I love mastiffs my nest one hopefully next yr will b a French mastiff I lov big dogs

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